Reveal One’s True Colors

原形畢露 Reveal One’s True Colors|孫培懋個展 Sun Pei-Mao Solo Exhibition

將展名稱取為「原形畢露」的原因是因為目前的創作手法是來自更為原始的自我。

有次我聽到佛經裡說到每個人都有一個「本來面目」,這讓我頓時有感而發:確實我們在生活中面對不同情境時都要啟動我們的演員能力,扮演好當時的那個角色。但其實那些角色卻與真實的自我天差地遠。作為創作者的我也不例外,在創作日常中也會將作品區分成哪些是給自己的,哪些又是給展覽的。倒不是說把畫得精緻的和美麗的留給自己,而是把羞於公開的真實自我隱藏起來,盡可能不展示給他人,例如醜陋的、情色的、個人癖好的、幼稚的、中二的、宅味、技術低劣的、不完整的、無法登大雅之堂的種種可以被評論為劣等的創作,我將之藏於我的抽屜櫃的深處,就像小孩不會讓自己的父母發現自己的a漫一樣,因為羞恥。但久而久之,這種恐懼以及羞恥感似乎只會不斷的限制自己,使自己與靈感漸行漸遠。

「筆記本」是我創作的另一條創作支線,也就是我在生活中的空檔裡很隨意的塗鴉。這些圖案中有很多誇張的人物臉部及大肌肉男特寫都是描繪我當下的直接慾望及氣力的發洩。2020年隨著上一段創作計畫進入尾聲,我慢慢將長久以來封存在筆記本裡因為受到種種自我限制而羞於公開的圖像產物使用在畫布上。

這次的展覽我將衝著「直面自己的羞恥」而來,展現自己久久不敢暴露的那一部分害羞卻又真實的自我,雖然我這次不會展出什麼太過出格的創作,但並不表示以後不會。

現在回想起來,我才發現「原形畢露」一直都是我對創作訴求,就像上一段創作歷程,我用自己看不太到的顏色(紅、綠、紫)來創作一樣,像玩遊戲的方式一樣,對色彩進行一連串的搭配實驗。對我來說這是更加認識自己的機會,希望藉由創作來向這更本來的自我奮鬥,使自己的內心再無羞愧與恐懼。

I chose to call the exhibition “Revealed” because my current creative method comes from a more primitive self.

When I read in Buddhist scriptures that everyone has an “original face,” I realised that, indeed, as we face various situations in life, we often must become actor and play the role just to get by. And those roles may contain parts of our nature, but they are a world away from our true selves. Even as a creator, I am no exception; I frequently divide the works which are for myself and which will be shared with the public.

This does not mean that I keep the most delicate and beautiful paintings for myself but rather that I, like everyone, try to hide a true self that is ashamed to be public. Most people, and perhaps artists in particular, prefer not to expose the ugly, erotic, awkward, naive, technically inferior, or incomplete things that can be judged as unremarkable or deserving of scorn. I hide such things in the depths of my hidden places, like a child trying to conceal dirty photos from his/her parents. And yet, this sort of shame and fear of exposure seems to only limit my work and keep me from true inspiration.

“Notebook” is my another creative branch, in which I doodled very casually from among the gaps in my life. There are, for example, many exaggerated faces and close-ups of big muscular men which convey my immediate desire to have and express strength. In 2020, as my last creative project came to an end, I slowly started to use the images I had kept to myself and was afraid to make public due to various self-restrictions on the canvas.

In this exhibition, I will attempt to “face my shame,” to show parts of myself that I had not dared expose for a long time. Looking back now, I realise that “Revealed” has always been my creative pursuit. Just like the previous creative process, I used colours that I myself couldn’t see (red, green, and purple) as if I were playing a game. In the same way, conducted a series of experiments with colours. For me, it has been an opportunity to know myself better, and I hope to strive for a more original self through creation so my heart will no longer be ashamed and fearful.

撰文Text: 孫培懋 Sun Pei-Mao



原形畢露 Reveal One’s True Colors|孫培懋個展 Sun Pei-Mao Solo Exhibition

展期|2022.06.09–07.02
地點|伊日藝術計劃 1F
地址|台北市內湖區新明路86巷1號
時間|Tue. – Sat. 14:00 – 19:00 週日、一休館

Date | 2022.06.09–07.02
Venue | YIRI ARTS 1F
Open | Tue.—Sat. 14:00—19:00
Closed | Sun.—Mon.
Add. | No. 1, Lane 86, Xinming Road, Neihu District, Taipei City 114030, TAIWAN